(FYI: Food Court Druids and Cherohonkees and Hagbard Celine)
Note: In the (dis)interest of clarity, all of Conrad’s contributions (those would be the funny ones) will be marked “BUNNY,” and mine (my speech is merely a catalyst) will be marked “DEMON.” Thank you for your (mis)understanding. We now return you to the chat, already in progress.
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BUNNY: Go USA!
DEMON: That too.
BUNNY: In actual libertarian paradise they would be garrotted by bikers for their xboxes and then used as fuel.
DEMON: Haha! “Libertarian Paradise” wants to be a song title.
BUNNY: By the Food Court Druids.
DEMON: Wow, googling “libertarian paradise” leads to all sorts of unlikely places. “Is Iraq a Libertarian Paradise?”
BUNNY: [gunfire]
DEMON: “Somalia, the libertarian paradise.”
BUNNY: [more gunfire]
DEMON: “Are cruise ships a libertarian paradise?”
BUNNY: Cruise ships … I … They …
DEMON: Also there is Holland, but that is with a caveat. “While Holland has an exceedingly redistributionist economic policy, it is a libertarian’s paradise on the social front. Recreational drug use is technically …” blah blah blah.
BUNNY: Folks, pot is not a political system. CRUISE SHIPS?????
DEMON: Apparently they are not: http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2005/07/are_cruise_ship.html
BUNNY: The domain says it all. WHAT’S ALL THIS ABOUT MARGARINE? THE BROCHURE SAID “BUTTER” AND I PAID … The idea of a cruise ship as a libertarian paradise neatly encapsulates (literally) the problem with everyone on the internet who self-identifies as a libertarian.
DEMON: I would like for them all to be bundled onto cruise ships and get salmonella.
BUNNY: Oops! No public health on cruise ships! Kind of a libertarian para… OH GOD THE VOMITING! The whole idea of pretending your expensive, artificial environment that completely relies on other people’s efforts and ignores such, and is elitist, and only pretends to be independent of a decidedly nonlibertarian world, and uses the generosity and community spirit of others but does not give back, and spews out shit and exhaust and sucks up oxygen and food… perfect.
DEMON: [applause] All aboard the Good Ship Libertarian!
BUNNY: Meeting some pirates in the Strait of Malacca is a great way to learn about globalization. OW OW THEY DON’T WANT OUR MICROLOANS HEY STOP HITTING ME WITH THE MACHETE