NOTE: Instead of a gargantuan image, the remainder of this chat log is rendered in text. Please note that my contributions are denoted by the phrase ELDER SIGN, while Conrad’s are shown as MUTTONCHOPS.
ELDER SIGN: ooh, pointy hat time. Alabama a bit balmy for the likes of Odin. (45-min documentary just delicioused, in case you want to see.)
MUTTONCHOPS: fraid
ELDER SIGN: i just need to focus my intense dislike
MUTTONCHOPS: launching solar lander
ELDER SIGN: there are all these black cops that have to guard the skinhead rally. boy, do *they* look happy
MUTTONCHOPS: “Just keep telling yourself, it’s triple overtime”
ELDER SIGN: jeepers, they are at the compound listening to a crap version of that one Eric Bogle song, “Willie McBride.” and singing along and saluting the Nazi flag. that’s totally bizarre to me. also, leader guy had to put on a helmet to do it
MUTTONCHOPS: Wow, Eric Bogle would barf up his skull
ELDER SIGN: now they’re having a happy party for Hitler! okay, i need another glass of wine.
MUTTONCHOPS: WE WISH YOU A MERRY HITLERR
ELDER SIGN: and a happy jew fear
MUTTONCHOPS: AAAA THEY’RE COMING TO FEED ME DELI FOOD mmm yum
ELDER SIGN: wait, are they allowed to eat a CHOCOLATE Nazi flag cake?!
MUTTONCHOPS: it’s not white chocolate? Guys I specifically gave you instructions on a proper pure white aryan cake and I trusted you to carry them out
ELDER SIGN: also, who got pumpernickel for the sammiches? oh, wait, is that German?
MUTTONCHOPS: So you say this is Maltese Chicken Salad?
ELDER SIGN: this is like the crappiest RenFaire ever
MUTTONCHOPS: Duane, I don’t think the parachute pants are very SS.
ELDER SIGN: that’s funny—just then, leader guy said, “I like that hat, Duane. I like that hat.”
MUTTONCHOPS: there had to be a Duane
ELDER SIGN: hahaha—argument between skinheads and black guys, on teh street. skinhead: “The Japanese and the Chinese. These people don’t interbreed!” so if i were to produce my family tree, could i explode his head with it? pleeeeez
MUTTONCHOPS: Did I tell you about the skinheads I encountered in Philadelphia?
ELDER SIGN: nope
MUTTONCHOPS: There was a group of them walking along in front of me on South St. And the first thing I noticed was that they were nazi types, and the second thing was that one of them was black.
ELDER SIGN: er…
MUTTONCHOPS: They were all clearly as dumb as many bags of rocks. They stopped in front of thiss deli and were arguing about whether to go in and buy cigarettes
ELDER SIGN: and it wasn’t a comedy bit being filmed?
MUTTONCHOPS: And the black kid was saying they shouldn’t because it was a Jew store.
ELDER SIGN: wow
MUTTONCHOPS: And a light bulb went on and one of the others said: “Wait. You’re a nigger Nazi and you won’t shop at a Jew store?”
ELDER SIGN: ooh, something like thought
MUTTONCHOPS: There was about this 30 second silence and you could hear big wooden gears turning in their heads. And then they went in to buy cigarettes.
ELDER SIGN: haha
MUTTONCHOPS: I figured they were no great threat to the Republic.
ELDER SIGN: the moral of this story: kids, just don’t smoke
MUTTONCHOPS: and if you do, stop lighting the filter end will ya
ELDER SIGN: now it is jaily time. paraphrase from leader guy: “His [accused of murder boy] life is in ruins, all because a black, homeless guy is dead.” WHAT A GODDAM SHAME
MUTTONCHOPS: Look guy, you make the cops fill out all that shitty paperwork, they’re gonna ride you, okay?
ELDER SIGN: maybe it was the one black female cop who was at the skinhead rally earlier. she looked like she was ready to BUST SOME HEADS
MUTTONCHOPS: I once saw a large black security guard pick up a small tiresome skinhead and throw him over an approximately 10 foot chainlink fence into a parking lot. It was an awesome sight
ELDER SIGN: whee! lookit ‘im go!
MUTTONCHOPS: He was actually being cool until the kid spit on him
ELDER SIGN: if only he had been actually ON FIRE at the time
MUTTONCHOPS: best circus ever
ELDER SIGN: who designed these KKK costumes, anyway? i mean.
MUTTONCHOPS: drunk redneck retards! Think Beavis & Butthead circa 1903
ELDER SIGN: speechifyin’: “they shave their heads to signify that they have been defecated on by the Zionist government”
MUTTONCHOPS: shouldn’t they glue on some poo?
ELDER SIGN: poopheads!
MUTTONCHOPS: Also it might be kinda cool to get a job in the US Skinhead Defecation Program. Is that an Interior Dept thing? another long day of eatin’ prunes and shittin’ on morons
ELDER SIGN: now it’s cross-burnin’ time. it’s like the worst Burning Man ever. and that’s saying something, apparently.
MUTTONCHOPS: patchouli-stained children of privilege versus dangerous armed chaws on beer…
ELDER SIGN: —on pay-per-view!
MUTTONCHOPS: TOO HOT FOR UPN