Exploding Aardvark

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NEIL GAIMAN IN CHINA

“I suspect that world peace and harmony would come about in weeks if people just got to put pandas on their laps every few months.”

ROLL CALL

People who will not receive my vote, as promised, for what it’s worth. Can’t say I’m surprised. And shame on you, Dick Durbin.
“The more we petted this little fellow, and the more good things we gave him, the more roguish he became.”
Previously ‘varked:

Is democracy possible in the USA?
Presidential Systems
everything squirrel

INTERESTING 19TH-CENTURY FLOWER BOOK

THE
FLOWERS PERSONIFIED;
Being a Translation of Grandville’s
“LES FLEURS ANIMÉES.”
By N. Cleaveland, Esq.
Illustrated with Steel Engravings,
Beautifully Colored.
NEW YORK;
Published by R. Martin, 170 Broadway
1847.
(Via serendipity.)

HEADLINES THAT SHOULD NOT BE

Bush Acknowledges Congress’s Right To Weigh In on War (Washington Post)
or
“I Am Not a King,” Says Bush
The grand vizier rubs his hands together and mutters in his ear, “They’ll make some noise but end up doing what you want, Imperial Majesty. Just keep holding those American soldiers hostage in Iraq.”
Meanwhile, a pair of misshapen dwarves […]

WHY I AM NOT AND WILL NEVER BE A FOLLOWER

Jonestown. Fucking brr.
Don’t be following me, either. When people start following me, I feel like Galadriel in Lord of the Rings and Frodo’s just offered me the fucking One Ring. That’s okay, lil’ hobbit, I prefer to merely live out my span and fade away. As someone once said:
Do not follow me, for I may […]

LIBERTY, EQUALITY, BOTANY

Meet the oak tree that owns itself. In 1832, it was emancipated and given land. Rise up, o leafy ones, and smash the tyranny of mammalian masters!
I don’t know what happened just then. Maybe I was channeling the magnolia outside my window—the one that was flowering so beautifully until it was suddenly winter again.
By the […]

DON’T LET THIS PARAGRAPH FOOL YOU

His post is about playing the piano, and restlessness, and Nina Simone, and the chorale.
And Ezra Pound, and accompaniment. And scraping.

Finally, I met someone who works at a Very Important Dictionary. I assumed that if you could really know What Words Mean, you would be analogously precise at all other areas of life—that you […]

OMIT NO DETAILS

Former preacher Dan Barker sez:
I have an Easter challenge for Christians. My challenge is simply this: tell me what happened on Easter. I am not asking for proof. My straightforward request is merely that Christians tell me exactly what happened on the day that their most important doctrine was born.

Who was at the tomb when […]

“I AM STILL HERE, AND HE IS NOT.”

I’m working on month eight of this deployment, and I’ve been on plenty of patrols, but getting shot at is a relatively new experience for me. Since this is an experience most of you will never have (and I’m thankful for that), I’ll do my best to describe the sights, sounds, and feelings of a […]

GEE … THANKS …

What do you do when the soccer balls you’re supposed to hand out to Iraqi kids arrive flat?

Frustrated, the soldiers asked their commanding officers what to do. None were sure. They kept calling their own superiors. Cassidy suggested that they order pumps and needles, which would arrive in about two weeks. The battalion colonel quickly […]