Exploding Aardvark

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HOW TO PLAY GUITAR

3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH … Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn’t shake, eat another piece of bread.
Captain Beefheart’s Ten Commandments For Guitarists (Analog Industries, via Music Thing)
Previously ‘varked:

Stop the Show

REALITY NEVER WAS HIS STRONG SUIT

Bush said: “I recognize there are a handful there, or some, who just say, ‘Get out, you know, it’s just not worth it. Let’s just leave.’ I strongly disagree with that attitude. Most Americans do as well.”
Previously ‘varked:

President Toad’s Wild Ride

QOTD

“With enemies like libertarians, the state doesn’t need friends.”
—Bob Black

26 MILLION SPLOGBOTS CAN’T BE WRONG

If you missed WCIA’s Jennifer Roscoe interviewing the IlliniPudding guy on the teevee, fear not—it has been youtubed. Watch it and pick up some tips on how to do the bloggins. I’m definitely giving some thought to this advice: “If you’re going to do it daily, do it every day.”
Ms. Roscoe has started a blog […]

HONEST

Lincoln asserted, to the applause of his audience, that “I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races … nor qualifying [negroes] to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people …”

Read about how a woman discovered she […]

VONNEGUT

“All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.”
15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will (A.V. Club, via Dave Aquamarine-7 Lartigue, who blogs at Dave Ex Machina)

I AM “UNUSUALLY LOUD”

Sometimes I can have the personality of a cardboard box, so I’m Walking Stereotype, but for non-Asians who are socially awkward, they’re just quiet. And Unusually Loud Asian Woman can’t be herself, either, without being, well, Unusually Loud Asian Woman.

Virginia Tech shootings bring out stereotypes (Hyphen Blog)

TROOP MORALE

I fucking hope it damages the morale of the troops. I would hope that, eventually, the volunteer forces that trusted their country to use them wisely, instead of as an array of crash test dummies, would revolt. I hope they strike. I hope they increasingly refuse to serve. I hope they link up with the […]

DON’T WANNA BE CZAR OF YOUR MESSY WAR

It would have been a great honor to serve this nation again. But after thoughtful discussions with people both in and outside of this administration, I concluded that the current Washington decision-making process lacks a linkage to a broader view of the region and how the parts fit together strategically. We got it right during […]

THE HATE FRAT

“Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.”
—Rush Limbaugh, to a caller
“Looks like a ghetto slut.”
—Neal Boortz, on Rep. Cynthia McKinney

“I didn’t think I could hate victims faster than the 9-11 victims.”
—Glenn Beck, on Hurricane Katrina victims
“They’re all Muslims, and they’re doing what they do. They’re killing each other. And they’re killing […]