Exploding Aardvark

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HOW TO BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE

The elephant and the event horizon (New Scientist)

DUCK!

Music!

The Sinister Ducks, “March of the Sinister Ducks” [flash video] [mp3]
Lemon Jelly, “Nice Weather for Ducks” (YouTube)
Deerhoof, “Come See the Duck” (YouTube)

Photos!

Société de Canard de Chien de Troupeau (”Track America’s political climate as its citizens eschew the hackneyed illusion of red and blue states, and the seDUCKtive cattle dog-led revolution turns ALL states yellow.”)
Puppyduck
Duck baby
Endangered […]

KNIT A PIRATE DICE BAG

… and then stab yourself in the head* with a cheap cutlass. Or a pricey one, if you prefer!

Knit a pirate dice bag (Craftzine)
Bonus links:

Captain Morgan: Calvin Klein of the high seas (Stanford Daily)
Pirate Drink Recipes
What is grog? (Straight Dope staff report)
Drunken pirate runs for Congress

* Instructions for making a cutlass holder for ease in […]

CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

Hey, let’s all join the military and get RFID dogtags implanted under our skin! At least that’s in the near future if VeriChip Corporation has anything to do with it. They’re currently negotiating with the Pentagon to supply chips to all military personnel. While they’re at it, they wouldn’t mind tagging other types of […]

ONE POSITIVE THING ABOUT BAD HEAT WAVES

You can bake cookies in your car.

HOW TO MAKE LUCKY STARS

Fold an Origami Star (via Grow-a-Brain)
I’ve always wanted to know how to make these. Thank you, interweb!

I HAVE NO WORDS

Build a recirculating gravy fountain (Instructables, via Slashfood)
There is video. [avi]

HOW TO SURVIVE A KILLER BEE ATTACK

1. RUN away quickly. Do not stop to help others.
Yes, there’s more:
What to do if attacked by Africanized honey bees (USDA, with a map of the spreading bee population and a guide for rescue personnel on how to subdue bees)
Another USDA page with links to more info on killer bees
Tangent: chimps in Africa make and […]

IS YOUR I.T. GUY A ZOMBIE?

does he use too much Axe bodyspray or too much cologne (to cover up the smell of his rotting flesh)?
does he nibble at your ankles when plugging in your network cable under your desk?
after troubleshooting your slow computer, does he call back to his office and ask them to “send more brains”?
does he stare at […]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

On the first day of the lunar new year, it is traditional to give lucky money in red envelopes to the kids. Here’s one you can print out and put together.