Exploding Aardvark

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ALL FORTY-SIX OF THEM

Judge Robert Restaino […] was hearing a session of domestic violence offenders in a court in Niagara Falls City in upstate New York when proceedings were interrupted by 10 or 11 rings of a phone. “Everyone is going to jail, every single person is going to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument […]

BTW

Absinthe +

PROFIT!

LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU

“A good copy editor would have caught this in 10 seconds.”
—Mark Schneider, commissioner of the National Center for Education Statistics at the Department of Education, on the invalidation of US reading scores on an international exam

NEWS FROM GUNMA

“Police said the crossing the woman had been using had a gate and warning lights and bells, but these had not been activated because the tracks were being used by the wild animal and not a train.”

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

KC Man Accused Of Toad Licking

WHITEY

What Ohio State University celebrity’s death would inspire a Facebook page with more than 800 members? An albino squirrel named Whitey, who had become a campus legend.
“Whitey is the South Campus mascot,” said Tim Hoock, 19, a freshman business-administration major.
Hoock and two of his friends were excited to see a Cooper’s hawk in the middle […]

I SEEM TO BE IN THE WRONG REALITY

Go G-Hog (YouTube WTFness, via MeFi)
Story, not that it helps or anything …

REMINDS ME OF GRADE SCHOOL

Ah, those were the days. </sarcasm>

FNC Guest Imitates Chinese People By Pulling At His Eyes (YouTube, via Angry Asian Man)
I wonder if kids are still doing this?:
I first realized I was APA when, starting in Kindergarten, white kids would ask me, “Are you Chinese? Are you Japanese?” Then they’d recite that little racist ditty, “Chinese, […]

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Hilton Tries to Help Drunken Elephants
Or is it this one?: US police shoot dead teenager wielding hairbrush
Update (Thanks, Conrad!): Hamlet shaken by murder then suicide