Exploding Aardvark

Category

STRAINED RELATIONS

Echo and the Bunnymen, “The Killing Moon”
Tommy James and the Shondells, “Crimson and Clover”
(Both YouTube. For my pleasure. Ah-hahahahaha. Yes, lots of music vids. Try and stop me. Muhahahaha.)
Probably useless factoid: That “Crimson and Clover” guitar box is right the fuck here in Shampoo-Banana. Just ask Larry Kirwan.

OFFICER, ARREST THAT TREE

From the Chambana police blotter:

A motorist reported criminal damage to property at the 1900 block of Griffith Drive, Friday morning.
According to a police report, the motorist was driving when a hedge apple fell from a tree onto his car, causing damage to the plastic trim. Damages incurred are estimated at $300.
No arrests had been made […]

CHAMBANA GRAMMAR SQUAD

From the local police blotter:

A 21-year-old Urbana man was issued a notice to appear at the 200 block of East Green Street on Friday morning.
According to a police report, the offender had been observed urinating in public.

What does he have to do when he appears at the 200 block of East Green on Friday morning?

A […]

MORE EVIDENCE

The Campus Squirrel Listings
Thanks, Britta!
Previously ‘varked: squirrels

YOUR CHAMBANA IRISH MUSIC UPDATE

… is here.

OH, YEAH …

A Central Illinois Irish music update for the month of August is here. If you’re in Chambana and have nothing better to do this evening, I’m hosting the trad session at Mike & Molly’s starting at fiveish. My hands are really sore, and they’re about to be more so, but I think I can manage […]

UGLIFY YOUR HOME

Handcarved Turkish camel footstool, $125 (Illinois homepage dot net!)

LOCAL USENET TROLL GOES FOR THE GUSTO

Today I filed an Federal Election Commission (FEC) complaint against Kos Media, LLC., better known as DailyKos.com. I allege that they operate as a political committee and are therefore subject to FEC rules.
—John Bambenek
Wanker of the Year, Blogosphere Division (Daily Kos, via IlliniPudding)
Dangerous Attack on Free Speech (The Corner, a National Review blog)
Hey, maybe he’s […]

WITCHES VS CRACKHEADS

I read in the paper that the Witch School had moved from Hoopeston, Illinois, to Rossville. Googling Rossville to find out where it is, I came across ePodunk and this capsule review:

Here’s an amazing disappearing link to the News-Gazette article, where you can read about some minor controversy over having a SCHOOL OF WITCHES OMG […]

CHAMBANA CRIME WAVE

From today’s police blotter:

A 91-year-old woman reported theft under $300 at the 500 block of East Washington Street, Monday night.
According to a police report, an unknown offender stole a jar full of quarters from the woman’s residence some time in the last two months.
No arrests had been made at the time of the report.