Exploding Aardvark

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A MODEST PROPOSAL: KILL THE PRESIDENT

How ’bout we make the office of US president deadly serious?

At Babylon, within historical times, the tenure of the kingly office was in practice lifelong, yet in theory it would seem to have been merely annual. For every year at the festival of Zagmuk the king had to renew his power by seizing the hands […]

NO MORE NAKED CHOCOLATE JESUS

It just never fails.
Step 1) The professional victims of offense wail and gnash their teeth about some totally fabricated affront.
Step 2) The stupendously blithering idiots in the corporate press rush to publicize the complaint (without ever examining the character of the accuser or the validity of the accusation).
Step 3) More people flock to see what […]

NUTS

“Life from non-life, apart from God’s direct intervention, is a fairy tale. But despite that obvious truth …” AH HAHAHAHA

Peanut Butter, the Atheist’s Nightmare! (YouTube)
Thanks, Kevin! That was awesome in its nuttiness.
Related youtubery: Kirk Cameron and Bananas

GRAPHIC DESIGN HAGIOGRAPHY

The Six Patron Saints of Graphic Design (via madamjujujive)
Pictured above: St. Typo, patron of spell checking and Google searches

VERBAL EQUINOX

Illustrious, horned, of a bounteous mind,
Alone desir’d by those of mortal kind.
O, vernal queen, whom grassy plains delight,
Sweet to the smell, and pleasing to the sight:
Whose holy form in budding fruits we view,
Earth’s vig’rous offspring of a various hue:
Espous’d in Autumn: life and death alone
To wretched mortals from thy power is known:
For thine the task […]

THE “OTAY” TAG: AN INTRODUCTION

Dead Deer Can’t Kick (”As promised, here’s a second excerpt from I. Lewis {’Scooter’} Libby’s epic love story, The Apprentice. The sex of the deer is never specified, but it is certainly a doe.”) [stories politics usa deer sex otay]
CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE AN ENTIRE PARALLEL UNIVERSE [otay]
McCain courting crucial Death Star vote (STAND THE […]

TAKE, EAT: THIS IS MY BODY

An illustration of the danger of taking religious scripture literally:

CRUCIFIX IN THROAT TEN DAYS REMOVED WITHOUT KNIFE (Popular Mechanics, April 1924, @ Modern Mechanix)

COMING SOON TO A MALL NEAR YOU

The police are to set up “retail jails” on high streets and in busy shopping malls to detain yobs and other offenders for up to four hours under Home Office proposals published yesterday.
Talks are under way to open the first of these short-term holding cells in Selfridges department store on Oxford Street in London. The […]

OMIT NO DETAILS

Former preacher Dan Barker sez:
I have an Easter challenge for Christians. My challenge is simply this: tell me what happened on Easter. I am not asking for proof. My straightforward request is merely that Christians tell me exactly what happened on the day that their most important doctrine was born.

Who was at the tomb when […]

O THE HYPOCRISY

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.
Update: Two Questions