Exploding Aardvark

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BLUE EGGS

Eggs of this nature were first seen by missionaries in South America in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, but it is not widely known that the history of blue eggs in the Cotswolds stretches back as far as the 1920’s, when botanist and explorer, Mr. Clarence Elliott, who toured the world collecting rare plants, brought […]

ALLEGEDLY DRUNK

Scott D. Clark, a guest at the Embassy Suites Hotel in St. Paul, cornered the duck early Saturday morning, grabbed the bird and ripped its head from its body while a hotel security guard and others watched, police said.
Clark then turned to onlookers and said: “I’m hungry. I’m gonna eat it,” St. Paul police Sgt. […]

NOW IT CAN BE TOLD

Stephen King shot John Lennon (via TMN)

SAVING THROWS, PLEASE

LOLTHULHU (via Jorn)

BY THE WAY …

In case you were wondering, I am not this guy. I don’t even like Harry Potter, and I’ve never worked in a movie theatre, unless you count the Rocky Horror days and one volunteer gig as the pink Power Ranger at a Christmas event in Chicago …

TIME TROUBLE

Problem: Travel has accidentally stopped midtransfer, and time portal opens itself up to a world of unimaginable horror and torture.
Solution: There has been a slight error in the travel process and we will work as fast as possible to remedy the problem. Please remain in the VH3928 and avoid direct contact with any one of […]

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Earth Might Survive Sun’s Explosion

DON’T FORGET TO WATER YOUR LAWN

Or you might end up bloodied and in a jail cell. Because this is America, goddammit.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT #25

Gen. David Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in the country, told Congress this week he could see troop numbers sliding by 30,000 — which would reduce the number of troops to pre-surge levels — by July 2008.
Bush to announce withdrawal of troops, official says (CNN)

SaveSURGE.org: Fighting to save the soda you love

CHAMBANA GRAMMAR SQUAD

From the local police blotter:

A 21-year-old Urbana man was issued a notice to appear at the 200 block of East Green Street on Friday morning.
According to a police report, the offender had been observed urinating in public.

What does he have to do when he appears at the 200 block of East Green on Friday morning?

A […]