WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

Posted on Sunday 29 July 2007

So, as a language-obsessed American, after learning from John Bambenek that Americans “fought a Revolutionary War for the right to come up with our own epithets,” I guess I need to come up with at least one uniquely American word or phrase that is equivalent to “wanker.” Trouble is, there really isn’t one. “Jerkoff” and “jagoff” come to mind, but those went out in what, the seventies? And little kids can call each other jerks on the playground without anyone batting an eyelash. No, they just don’t have the same ring to them.

Hmm …

  • Serial masturbator
  • Chicken choker
  • Monkey spanker
  • Meat beater
  • Pud puller
  • Safe-sex practitioner
  • Porn-obsessed lotion hoarder

Nah.

I think maybe the equivalent American term is simply: “Go fuck yourself. Wanker.”

(Congrats to JB for getting into the top ten Google results for “wanker”! An entry in the Encyclopaedia Britannica can’t be too far off! Oh, but that’s not American, so I guess it doesn’t count.)

Bonus link: International Web Sites Specializing in Insults, Curses, Slang, Swearwords, Blasphemies, Slurs, Obscenities and Vulgarities (Maledicta)

Previously ‘varked:


2 Comments for 'WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE'

  1.  
    worrymon
    30 July 2007 | 8:43 am
     

    Just a clarification. The insult ‘Jerk’ had nothing to do with jerk-offs. The term jerk was a result of the soda-fountains that were popular in the 40s. The employee would have to jerk the handle to get the soda water to pour and were thus called ‘Soda-Jerks.’

  2.  
    30 July 2007 | 9:35 am
     

    This etymology dictionary does mention soda jerks for the verb, but not for the noun, which apparently has its origins in carnival slang.

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