Exploding Aardvark

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HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Romania confronts huge meat pile

THIS YEAR’S BULWER-LYTTON WINNER

Gerald began — but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them ‘permanently’ meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by […]

31 JULY

1975: Jimmy Hoffa vanishes

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: FOOD STAMPS

You’re a single parent with a full-time job.
The challenge: feed your three kids for a week with this food.
Go!

IDENTITY

More than a third of British Asians do not feel British, a BBC poll suggests. Meanwhile, apparently I have a tendency to assume that white people aren’t Americans.

30 JULY

1818: Emily Brontë is born [works]

1863: Henry Ford is born

1881: Smedley Butler is born [racket]

1938: Hitler awards the Grand Cross of the Supreme Order of the German Eagle to Henry Ford

1958: Kate Bush is born [vids: army work kick lap]

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

So, as a language-obsessed American, after learning from John Bambenek that Americans “fought a Revolutionary War for the right to come up with our own epithets,” I guess I need to come up with at least one uniquely American word or phrase that is equivalent to “wanker.” Trouble is, there really isn’t one. “Jerkoff” and […]

COMMITMENT ISSUES?

Maybe you should try FlexPetz, you ridiculous motherfucker.
Look, I understand if you just can’t have a dog. But if you want to spend time around them anyway, volunteer at the Humane Society. Or, I dunno, make friends with someone who has a dog. This rent-a-pet crap is just …
*brain explodes*
Please, someone tell me this is […]

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Okay, so they’re not actually in a tree.
Update: A better photo, in which you can see that what Bush is driving is called “Golf Cart One”

CASH FOR CORPSES

(via)