Exploding Aardvark

Archives

IN A NUTSHELL

Cantonese is essentially what everyone else in China calls swearing.
Welsh is essentially what appears on the screen after you have inadvertently been resting your elbow on the keyboard.
French is essentially a language that elides everything that doesn’t get out of the way fast enough, and nasalises everything else.
English is essentially the noise made by people […]

PARTY FUN

Many Strange Games’ readers write to me and say, “Montegue, this year my son wants a medieval themed birthday party. Have you any suggestions for games to play?” To which I usually reply, “Baste the Bear”.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Crustaceans eating away island off Hiroshima

27 JUNE

1869: Emma Goldman is born

1880: Helen Keller is born

1905: The IWW founding convention begins in Chicago, Illinois

1929: Bell Labs gives the first American demonstration of colour television

1969: The Stonewall Rebellion begins in New York City

1986: The United States is found guilty of violating international law by supporting the Contras in Nicaragua

HI-HO, THE DERRY-O

“It’s a little surreal,” remarked Keith Koffler of Congress Daily.
“You’re telling me,” Perino agreed.
“You can’t give an opinion about whether the vice president is part of the executive branch or not?” Koffler pressed. “It’s a little bit like somebody saying, ‘I don’t know if this is my wife or not.’ ”

The Cheese Stands Alone (Dana […]

26 JUNE

1904: Peter Lorre is born [library of sound]

1956: Chris Isaak is born

1963: President Kennedy is a jelly doughnut

HANDMADE, DIGITAL

Daft Punk, “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” (YouTube)
Via Robot Wisdom Auxiliary, oddly enough, because there it says it’s via eAard! Apparently I have a dream-blog, accessible only by sleepers and outside the bounds of linear time. Subscribe to its RSS feed using your pineal gland.

25 JUNE

1178: “Suddenly the upper horn split in two. From the midpoint of this division a flaming torch sprang up, spewing out, over a considerable distance, fire, hot coals, and sparks … the body of the moon which was below throbbed like a wounded snake.”

1870: Robert Erskine Childers is born [riddle]

1876: George Armstrong Custer and the […]

VERBS BAD

Knowledge of verbs no possession by most American laypeople. For them, picture of happiness: beer plentiful, couch comfy, large-screen television. Their speech: “Verb? What that? Huh? Hey … me on TV?” So, for life easier and more efficient, and, marginally, more fun, elimination of verbs necessary. For those who possession of persistence in verb usage: […]

CAN’T DECIDE FOR YOURSELF?

Let the 2008 SelectSmart.com Presidential Candidate Selector decide for you! (Via Reappropriate.)
My results:

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100%)
2. Dennis Kucinich (92%)
3. Alan Augustson (88%)
4. Barack Obama (87%)
5. Joseph Biden (81%)
6. Hillary Clinton (77%)
7. Wesley Clark (76%)
8. John Edwards (74%)
9. Christopher […]