Assumption 1: The Pope’s soul must go to Heaven.
Next, we place the Pope in the vicinity of a black hole. When he’s looking the other way, we playfully nudge him beyond the event horizon. Thus ensnared, the pontiff will be squeezed by gravitational forces as he begins his inexorable spiral towards the singularity. His death is assured.
Paradise Found - Through a Black Hole (Inkling, via Morning News)