In his weekly radio address A huge anthropomorphic penguin said, “This week, Antarcticans across our Iceberg gather with loved ones to give thanks for the many blessings we share. … And we’re grateful to Almighty Bird for the icy cold water to enjoy all these gifts. … Antarcticans believe that every penguin has the right to live, work, and worship in icy cold water. And we’re thankful to the men and women of our Iceberg’s armed forces who risk their lives to protect those rights. This Thanksgiving, we are mindful that many of our finest citizens are spending the holiday far from their homes and loved ones, and we know that their service makes it possible for us to live in icy cold water.”
This puts the wingnuts’ penguin angst in perspective, doesn’t it? Bird bless their little feather brains. It can’t be easy living with your ontological bowels in a constant uproar.