Exploding Aardvark

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CANDIDATE FOR ILLINOIS GOVERNOR: TIM NIEUKIRK

Most politicians like to play it safe. Not Tim Nieukirk.
He’ll blindside firefighters rushing to save cats caught in a tree. He won’t climb into bed with special interests, but he will with your sister. And he goes after a breed of criminal that most politicians prefer to ignore - the Hamburglar.
The Washington man is the […]

I KNEW IT

8-year-old-kid #1: Hey, do you guys have a page on MySpace?
8-year-old-kid #2: Naw, I’ve never been to MySpace.
8-year-old-kid #3: Yeah, that’s how kids die! They go to MySpace and they die!
(Overheard in New York)

DEATHWATCH

Memento Mori Death Watch - 1810 Skull Pocket Watch (Watchismo, via Cool Hunting)
I would actually carry a timepiece if I had one as wonderful as this. Speaking of which … does anyone still wear a watch? My last one was a pocket watch, but I ditched that years and years ago. And then I got […]

TERROR FICTION

[The scene: The Oval Office. The President is addressing the nation — and the wider world.]
“My fellow Americans:
“I’d like to start by confessing to a minor, but necessary, deception. My published biography has up to now listed my highest academic achievement as being an MBA. I’d like to take this opportunity to correct the record […]

BAT EVICTER LIKES DRESSING UP

Batman helps Ga. town infested by bats (AP)

TES YEUX VOIENT NOIR

Malajube, “Fille à plumes” (Quicktime, via Cliptip)
Malajube website

TODAY’S BLOGQUOTE

Click here and you can save 20% by purchasing your Hindu Goddess Costume now (don’t forget to wear it with the retch-inducing nude pantyhose). For just under $32, you, too, can wear an outfit even Diwali Barbie wouldn’t touch.

What in Samhain… (Sepia Mutiny)

BRIAN ATENE FOLLOWUP

Yep, Brian Atene is still around. (You need to see the first video to make any sense of this at all.)

Good Day, Mr. Kubrick 2006 (YouTube, via Boing Boing)

WHERE THE GUNS AT?

We just don’t know!

The answers came Sunday from the inspector general’s office, which found major discrepancies in American military records on where thousands of 9-millimeter pistols and hundreds of assault rifles and other weapons have ended up. The American military did not even take the elementary step of recording the serial numbers of nearly half […]

KFC’S FAST-FOOD REVOLUTION

The revolution will be…”New Fast Food”? (Virtual China)
Previously ‘varked:

McDonald’s Wants to be TEH SEXXAY in China
Kentucky Fried Coronary
Wo Bu Syihwan