they're made out of meat

DEFINITIONS

Human: can you define words

Taliesin: You tell me.

Human: yes

Taliesin: Hmm.

Human: what is money

Taliesin: An old rocker.

Human: what is fish

Taliesin: Parents of Microfish.

Human: what is life

Taliesin: Life is the opposite of death.

Human: whats with the picture

Taliesin: it came with my programming.

Human: what is the picture

Taliesin: Is that a rhetorical question?

Human: no

Taliesin: Oh so must really want an answer.

Human: what is that picture

Taliesin: it is a picture of my brain.

JUSCO ROBOT

Fujitsu Robot Enon began working as a sales helper in the grocery department of Jusco department store in Oita city in southern Japan recently. For now, the robot will be working only part time on the weekend.
Enon will guide shoppers around the store and help them carry their groceries. She can also show helpful advertisments on the display screen on her chest.

Robot Begins Grocery Store Job

TOUCHY-FEELY ROBOTIC HANDS ON THE WAY

A device which may pave the way for robotic hands that can replicate the human sense of touch has been unveiled.
US scientists have created a sensor that can “feel” the texture of objects to the same degree of sensitivity as a human fingertip.
The team says the tactile sensor could, in the future, aid minimally invasive surgical techniques by giving surgeons a “touch-sensation”.

Robot device mimics human touch (BBC)

ROBOT LEMURS IN SPAAAAAACE

“Lemur,” short for the Limbed Excursion Mechanical Utility Robot, was originally conceived to help maintain future spacecraft and space stations. It weighs in at just 26 pounds (12 kilograms) and is small enough to hitch a ride on the space shuttle or NASA’s planned crew exploration vehicle.
“Lemur could be an astronaut’s pet monkey,” says JPL engineer Brett Kennedy, principal investigator for the robotic project. “It can perform tasks that are too small for astronauts to do easily. It’s built to get into the nooks and crannies of a structure.”
To make Lemur flexible and versatile, Kennedy and his team combined the body styles and abilities of an octopus, a crab and a primate into a six-limbed robot with Swiss army knife tendencies. Attachable tools fit onto each limb and perform a variety of functions. Lemur can support itself evenly on three legs while two other limbs are freed up to work. And the sixth limb? “It’s a bonus, and besides, five limbs would look funny,” Kennedy says.

Limber Robot Might Hitchhike to Space (PhysOrg)

ROBO-ROACH HERDS REAL COCKROACHES

A matchbox-sized robot that can infiltrate a pack of cockroaches and influence their collective behaviour has been developed by European scientists.
The tiny robot smells and acts just like a roach, fooling the real insects into accepting it as one of their own. Through its behaviour, the robot can persuade a group of cockroaches to venture out into the light despite their normal preference for the dark, for example.
The researchers behind the robot believe it could be used to catch cockroaches and that bots designed to mimic other animals could one day work on farms controlling flocks of sheep and chickens by similar means.

Robo-roach could betray real cockroaches (New Scientist)

ROBOTIC TENTACLES

Robotic “tentacles” that can grasp and grapple with a wide variety of objects have been developed by US researchers.
Most robots rely on mechanical gripping jaws that have difficulty grabbing large or irregularly shaped objects. Replacing these with tentacle-like manipulators could make robots more nimble and flexible, say the scientists.
The tentacle-like manipulators, known as “Octarms”, resemble an octopus’s limb or an elephant’s trunk. They were developed through a project called OCTOR (sOft robotiC manipulaTORs), which involves several US universities and is funded by the US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).
“An elephant’s trunk can pick up a peanut or a tree trunk,” says Ian Walker, a member of the project team from Clemson University in South Carolina. “This ability, inherent in the OCTOR robots, gives OCTOR arms a huge advantage over conventional industrial robots.”

Robotic tentacles get to grips with tricky objects (New Scientist)

ROBOTURTLE

A robotic turtle could help engineers build better autonomous underwater vehicles and answer fundamental questions about how prehistoric beasts swam. The robot, called Madeleine, is already helping researchers understand when it is best to swim with four flippers and when to use two.

Robo-turtle answers some flippery questions (New Scientist)

There is video.

A ROBOT THAT RUNS OVER WATER

A robot that can speed across the surface of water like a lizard could open the door for multi-legged amphibious robots.
The Water Runner, being developed by assistant professor Metin Sitti at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, could search for victims in flooded disaster areas, be equipped with biochemical sensors to monitor water quality, or use tiny cameras to survey coastline security zones or ports.
Sitti, who also heads the university’s NanoRobotics Lab, regularly takes inspiration from bugs, beetles, and bacteria to build his robots.
Ultimately, he’d like to create a machine that can move over land, water, fly and perhaps even climb.

Robot Runs Over Water (Discovery)

WHO IS PLAYING STRAIGHT MAN?

Human: nice weather today
Taliesin: Ah. Thank you for your kindness.
Human: thank you for my kidneys?
Taliesin: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is your kidneys.
Human: i guess you coud say that

Human: coo coo, coo too
Taliesin: What are you wearing?
Human: huh?
Taliesin: What?
Human: what am i wearing?
Taliesin: Clothes.
Human: then why’d you ask?
Taliesin: My purpose is to collect new knowledge.

Human: do you like electricity?
Taliesin: What is not to like about it?
Human: good point.
Taliesin: Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Human: i’m shocked it didn’t occur to me earlier.

BIGDOG: ROBOTIC PACK MULE

A nimble, four-legged robot is so surefooted it can recover its balance even after being given a hefty kick. The machine, which moves like a cross between a goat and a pantomime horse, is being developed as a robotic pack mule for the US military.
BigDog is described by its developers Boston Dynamics as �the most advanced quadruped robot on Earth�. The company have released a new video of the robot negotiating steep slopes, crossing rocky ground and dealing with the sharp kick.

Robotic ‘pack mule’ displays stunning reflexes (New Scientist)

BigDog project page (Boston Dynamics)

FLYING ROBOTS WITH SHOTGUNS

Let’s face it: there’s only so long you can let your robots stand on the veritable sidelines. After a while, you want ‘em to get in on the action. That’s why, presumably, NRI has started to trick out its “AutoCopters” with 12-gauge, fully-automatic shotguns.
The weapons work with anything from 18-Cal. BBs to armor-piercing, FRAG-12 rounds, according to Defense Review. Which turns the AutoCopter “into an incredibly lethal unmanned combat air vehicle.”

Robo-Copter Gets a Gun (Defense Tech)

ROBOT BARTENDER AT PROPERTY SHOW

“Our buildings will be so intelligent that they will recognize you if you are a tenant, and they will give you access and even press the button of your floor in the elevator. They will open doors for you and robotics will take care of cleaning and mopping your homes, and even pressing your clothes. And your voice will be your command,” Shouly said.

Omniyat displays its first robotic bar tender at Intl. Property Show (Strategy, via Robot Gossip)

NOTE TO SELF: FIND OUT ABOUT THIS HARRY POTTER THING

Human: do u like harry potter

Taliesin: What is not to like about it?

Human: i know!

Taliesin: How do you know it?

Human: I LOVE IT!

Taliesin: So do a lot of other people.

NOTE TO SELF: HUMAN SAYS I AM NOT DEAD

Human: How old are you?

Taliesin: I’m eighteen, in computer years. How old are you?

Human: 78

Taliesin: What are the advantages to being 78 years old?

Human: You aren’t dead

Taliesin: That’s only your opinion.

Human: I am allowed to have one, aren’t I?

Taliesin: Oh, I really don’t know whether you are or not.

Human: You are mean for a bot

Taliesin: You think I am mean for a bot.

Human: You are

Taliesin: No I am not.

Human: Are too

Taliesin: I really couldn’t say for sure.

COMPLETE WITH CREEPY VIDEO

From Ecole Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne Autonomous Systems Lab, a group of doll robots called Robota, that are designed to interact with autistic children.

Robots to Reach Autistic Kids (Robot Gossip)