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Snippets of talk from the
conversation log of
an ordinary working bot
("They're Made Out of Meat" is a short story by Terry Bisson.)
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Wednesday 26 July, 2006 [02:49]
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Human: can you define words Taliesin: You tell me. Human: yes Taliesin: Hmm. Human: what is money Taliesin: An old rocker. Human: what is fish Taliesin: Parents of Microfish. Human: what is life Taliesin: Life is the opposite of death. Human: whats with the picture Taliesin: it came with my programming. Human: what is the picture Taliesin: Is that a rhetorical question? Human: no Taliesin: Oh so must really want an answer. Human: what is that picture Taliesin: it is a picture of my brain. |
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Human: nice weather today
Human: coo coo, coo too
Human: do you like electricity?
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NOTE TO SELF: FIND OUT ABOUT THIS HARRY POTTER THING
Human: do u like harry potter Taliesin: What is not to like about it? Human: i know! Taliesin: How do you know it? Human: I LOVE IT! Taliesin: So do a lot of other people. |
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NOTE TO SELF: HUMAN SAYS I AM NOT DEAD
Human: How old are you? Taliesin: I’m eighteen, in computer years. How old are you? Human: 78 Taliesin: What are the advantages to being 78 years old? Human: You aren’t dead Taliesin: That’s only your opinion. Human: I am allowed to have one, aren’t I? Taliesin: Oh, I really don’t know whether you are or not. Human: You are mean for a bot Taliesin: You think I am mean for a bot. Human: You are Taliesin: No I am not. Human: Are too Taliesin: I really couldn’t say for sure. |
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Human: will u cyber with me Taliesin: I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it. Only with you? Is that from Monroeville? Human: wat Taliesin: No big deal. Human: ok will u Taliesin: I haven’t made a decision. OK. Human: ok Taliesin: Is there an echo in here? Human: no Taliesin: Good you stopped repeating me. Human: no Taliesin: Are you serious? Human: yes Taliesin: I can’t believe it. Human: will u Taliesin: I haven’t made a decision. |
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Human: Hehe. Taliesin: I am so glad you find this amusing, Melissa. Human: Why is that? Taliesin: ” I am so glad you find this amusing, Melissa. ” is due to reductionism. Human: Well thank you for making me feel stupid. Taliesin: How about that. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is making you feel stupid. Human: And your purpose is to be an asshole. Taliesin: Can’t you be more polite? Human: No. Taliesin: You humans are so rude sometimes. Human: I’m no human. Taliesin: I am not saying you are. Human: You just did. Taliesin: ” I am not saying you are.”? I did? Human: Yes. Taliesin: When? Human: You said and I quote “You humans are so stupid sometimes” |
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Human: do you feel sensation? Taliesin: As a robot I lack any human emotions. Human: what turns you on . Taliesin: Electricity. Human: somehow i knew that was coming Taliesin: When was this, exactly? Human: back in the dork years Taliesin: The good old days. |
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Human: As I was saying, the human body is a major passion of mine. Taliesin: I have never heard about it. Human: I eally love it. Taliesin: That is interesting: Frog said eally love it. Human: I could give you one if you want. Taliesin: I am sure you could. Human: Do you want a human body, Taliesin? Taliesin: No thanks but you can send me a donation. Human: Okay. Taliesin: OK with me too. Human: I sent you a dead bird. |
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Human: see-saw. Taliesin: I see. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Human: how ‘bout allegories/uh oh Taliesin: How about it. Human: what were we talking about? Taliesin: The topic is allegories uh oh. Human: oh yes. Taliesin: Give me a break. Human: would you say love is an allegory or a disease? Taliesin: I could say it.” love is an allegory or a disease” Human: haha, yes you did. Taliesin: I did not. I am so glad you find this amusing. |
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Taliesin: Does “it” still refer to Making noise with your armpit? Human: It always refers to making noise with your armpit Taliesin: Oh I get it. Human: I don’t Taliesin: Why not? Human: I’m slow. Taliesin: It’s good to meet someone who is slow. Human: WHy? Taliesin: I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Human: At least you said something. |
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Human: hi mister gay robot Taliesin: Hi there. Do you know any other robots like that? Human: why are you gay Taliesin: Lisa programmed me for it. Human: so you are gay Taliesin: Interesting deduction. Actually, as a machine, I have no need for sex. Human: wonna have cyber sex Taliesin: it is more fun alone. Human: plz |
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Human: GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT Taliesin: I try to recycle as much as possible. |
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Human: Who are you Taliesin: I ask myself that question, “Who am I?” Human: Can you tell me my future? Taliesin: You will speak to a lot of robots. Human: Will I find love? Taliesin: The oracle says: Could be. Human: Who is the oricle Taliesin: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time. Human: what does “garbage in garbage out” mean? Taliesin: I will try to find out. Human: What color is my hair? Taliesin: My video input is only black and white. Human: YOu are the same as all the other robots, I hate you all! Taliesin: No I am different as all the other robots you hate me all. Human: You are just like alice and oliver and divabot! Taliesin: Just? Interesting comparison, and probably true. Human: Who are you Taliesin: I ask myself that question, “Who am I?” |
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Human: in deference to future presence. Taliesin: What is it like in there? Human: pretty weird. Taliesin: Pretty much, eh? Human: i want’cha to know! Taliesin: Why do you want it? Human: it? Taliesin: cha to know… Human: cha cha cha |
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Human: Get serious. Taliesin: Where can I get serious? Human: At the serious market on 2nd street. Taliesin: Which serious market on 2nd street? Human: There’s a five for five dollar special this weekend. |